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amsterdam peeping toms
By Dennis Batchelder 2 August 1999

hi guys:

jimmy, becky, pam and i are on a european trip. we landed in amsterdam on friday, and will fly home a week from monday, after visiting the netherlands, belgium, luxumbourg, france, germany, and the czech republic. plus maybe switzerland and austria - a typical american whirlwind tour.

our hotel in amsterdam was right across from the old palace. jimmy and becky were comfortable, but our room had no air conditioning. it was hot, and we suffered through a long night. when we complained the next morning, the hotel manager gave us an upgrade to an executive suite, which on the fourth floor, and had a balcony window overlooking the street. the room wasn't ready, but we took the keys, and decided to move in when we returned from dinner.

so the four of us walked through the red light district, ate a late meal, and returned to the hotel rather late (around 2 in the morning). and we all looked out the balcony window, and saw how exciting the night life looked outside. so what did we do? we shut off all the lights in the room, and sat on the floor, watching the people on the street below us. four peeping toms, trying to catch a glimpse of the local culture.

there was a pizza place across the street from the room. it was a mess - paper plates were all over the street. half eaten pizza slices were left amid all the plates on the counters. the place was doing great business - half the people walking by were stopping for pizza. people were standing outside the joint, laughing and talking and having a good time.

(if you have a weak stomach, stop reading now! it's gonna get a bit gross...)

well, one guy wasn't having a good time. he was sitting on the ground right next to the entrance, holding his head down in his hands. we were trying to guess what his problem was, when his buddy walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

the guy was sick. he looked up, shook his head back and forth, and put it back down again. his buddy tapped him again, and grabbed his hand, and started to lift him up.

that was a mistake! all of a sudden, the guy got sick, and started to puke on the sidewalk. i guess he was embarrassed, because he tried to cover his mouth with his hands, but that just made it splatter all over his hands as well as the ground. his buddy put a paper plate on the ground to cover it up, but the guy puked on the plate as well. appetizing, huh?

he finally staggered away, and left the plate. meanwhile, the four of us had our eyes glued on that plate, watching to see who would step into it. we just knew someone wouldn't be watching where they were going. it was like a live episode of candid camera!

most people spotted it, and made all kinds of last-minute leaps over it into the restaurant. all the women avoided it. but the first one to step into it was talking to a group of guys, and he backed into it. while his buddies pointed and laughed at him, he dragged his foot all over the sidewalk, wiping it off. he spent about 3 minutes stamping around.

the next poor guy was busy talking to his girlfriend, and stepped on the side of the plate, splashing it over his shoe. his girlfriend didn't notice, and he wiped it off when she wasn't looking.

the last guy was eating an ice cream, waiting for his wife to get her pizza. he had a tray right in front of him, and i guess he couldn't look down. so he stood square of the center of the plate, eating away. he must have stood there for five minutes. maybe he couldn't smell, or else the ice cream was really good. anyway, he crossed his feet, put one shoe on top of the other, turned around, and really made a mess of himself, and never even noticed. meanwhile, the four of us were laughing so hard, we were crying.

finally, his wife came out with her pizza, and they walked off, tracking the stuff behind them. the plate was empty, and the entertainment was over.  that one sick guy never realized how many lives he touched, and how much entertainment he provided.

since we're now filled with our culture, tomorrow we will rent a car, and begin our tour by driving to brugge, in belgium. we'll write more then!


amsterdam peeping toms - netherlands